I'm Not Dead

Dear reader,

how lovely to discover you exist.

Over the past two weeks, I've been surprised and chuffed to receive several emails from friends I didn't even know were perusing this blog (as well as some plaintive comments from fellow bloggers - you know who you are) politely enquiring when my next post will be. Please forgive my neglect; it's been a really overwhelming, exciting, intense six weeks and I just haven't had the space - emotionally or time-wise - to document it. Allow me to catch you up.

Straight out of left field, I've been given the opportunity to travel to America so I can make like a sponge and soak up some experience, strength and hope from both the 12 Step and Baha'i Communities there, which are far more established than our burgeoning movements Down Under. I'll be attending a Recovery Convention as well as a BNASAA Conference in early October. Then I'm planning on traveling around the country for a few months researching and applying for grad schools. My heart just implodes with joy at all this, but like anything big and glorious and whirlwind, I've needed to make some significant sacrifices. I had to let go of my BEC training, which felt like losing a limb. (So I'm sorry, Jay, there won't be any follow up post on R-E-S-P-E-C-T in the B-E-C, but I can share briefly that the kids' dances were adorable and hilarious and it was a great note to say goodbye on.)

I've also had to ask God to show me how to create several thousand dollars in a month and a half, if it be Her will. So far, the growth of my bank balance has been nothing short of miraculous, but because I hadn't planned on making it back to the States this year, I've had to get awfully busy, awfully fast. It's been an extraordinary exercise in faith - which, as a wise old sober alcoholic once told me, can be broken down into the following acronym: Future Adventures in Trusting Him. Don't ask me why I forget that God is the All-Bountiful every time there's a financial question mark over my head. She has always come through for me in the past and I'm slowly learning that She always will.

Lastly, and perhaps most significantly, I've needed time to allow some important feelings to bubble up, over and out. Like most of us, particularly those of us in recovery from addiction, I have a rich, woolly history. Every so often, a person or event will trigger some major healing that requires I be very gentle with myself. This last month has involved a lot of that. And once again I'm experiencing the beautiful fact that tests are really gifts:

"My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy. Hasten thereunto that thou mayest become an eternal light and an immortal spirit. This is My command unto thee, do thou observe it." - Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words

The support of my fellows in recovery is helping. Long, hot showers are helping. Making time my friend is helping. Prayer is helping:

"O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life. O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord." - 'Abdu'l-Bahá, Compilations, Baha'i Prayers, p. 149

So. I hope you can appreciate why I've been a little absent from this blog. Huge shifts are happening for me, both internally and externally. I'm focusing on welcoming them, because my experience has been that when old ghosts are exorcised, new space is created for Grace to enter, no matter how painful or confronting the process. I believe my Beloved is preparing me for this unexpected transatlantic adventure by thoroughly spring-cleaning my soul. My prayer is that I can follow Her guidance and arise unfettered to go meet my destiny. The destiny I'm talking about is nothing extraordinary, nor is it exclusive to me. It's the same destiny on offer to anyone alive during the Formative Age: that is, the opportuntiy to utilise our unique talents and experiences in order to become the most effective servants to humanity possible.

As my departure looms, I will do my best to keep posting in between buying travel insurance, organising couches to crash on and preparing my College applications. Thanks in advance for your loving prayers.

Present Evil for Future Good

I just read a really rich post from one of my favourite Baha'i bloggers, the Divine Ms Angela Shortt. The subject concerned is the Baha'i Ruling that women may not serve on the Universal House of Justice, the highest level of Baha'i Administration. So many stimulating ideas were raised by both the author and subsequent commenters. Do yourself a favour and check them out here. As I was leaving a comment myself, I realised my verbosity was getting the upper hand and a post of my own was in order.

The main point I want to explore is that dismay about the no women on the UHJ law tends to come from Western mouths. Here it's imperative to note that in the Baha'i Faith, men and women have been declared by Baha'u'llah as categorically equal:

"Women and men have been and will always be equal in the sight of God. The Dawning-Place of the Light of God sheddeth its radiance upon all with the same effulgence" - Baha'u'llah, Women: Extracts from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, 1986, p. 26

Well, duh, it's easy to say. That's just common sense. Or is it? Pause for a moment and consider the context of this utterance. It was spoken nearly 200 years ago in Iran, a culture where women were expicitly oppressed and today are still openly regarded as second-class citizens. At the time the Blessed Beauty's exhortations regarding women were revealed, they were revolutionary even by Western standards. Make no mistake about it; Baha'u'llah was a radical feminist.

The Baha'i Faith is a Global Faith. Its mission is to unite all of humanity. It's easy for us 'progressive' (read privileged) types to forget that while many post-colonial nations have seen undeniable improvements in women's rights in recent decades, the vast majority of women on the planet are still treated like cattle. The Master has this to say about our sorry state of affairs:

"In the world of humanity we find a great difference; the female sex is treated as though inferior, and is not allowed equal rights and privileges. This condition is due not to nature, but to education. In the Divine Creation there is no such distinction. Neither sex is superior to the other in the sight of God. Why then should one sex assert the inferiority of the other, withholding just rights and privileges as though God had given His authority for such a course of action? If women received the same educational advantages as those of men, the result would demonstrate the equality of capacity of both for scholarship." - Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 161

Since becoming a Baha'i and getting intimate with the idea of the Formative Age, there's a sentiment I call upon frequently for courage and strength: present evil for future good. For a whole bunch of personal reasons, 1998 - my final year of High School - was an extraordinarily challenging time. The only way I could get through it was to focus on my goal of getting into University. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, my darling dad would repeat this simple phrase to comfort and encourage me: "Present evil for future good, sweetheart." Present evil. Future good. It became my mantra.

Now, please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying anything sent down by Baha'u'llah , including the ruling of no women serving on the UHJ, is evil. What I’m saying is that having an all-Male UHJ is a means to an ends. The Most Great Peace is a pretty big ends. Evidently it requires some big means. And it's presumptuous - as well as characteristically self-obsessed - of us Westerners to assume that nations where women have been considered inferior for centuries are going to embrace the guidance of a governing body that includes women.

Sometimes I feel sad that the world's not ready for women on the UHJ - and won't be for the next 800 years. I’m talking crying sad; it can really pain me. But I need to remind myself that my grief is a (healthy) reaction to the current state of the planet, rather than to any shortcoming in Baha’i Law. Ultimately, I have faith in Baha'u'llah's Infinite Wisdom. 'Abdu'l-Baha offers the following balm to soothe me as this faith continues to develop and deepen:

"O maidservant of God! Know thou that in the sight of God, the conduct of women is the same as that of men .... From the spiritual point of view ... there is no difference between women and men ....As to the House of Justice: according to the explicit text of the Law of God, its membership is exclusively reserved to men. There is Divine wisdom in this which will presently be made manifest even as the mid-day sun." - 'Abdu'l-Baha, Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 612

It comes down to remembering to pray for patience. The business of the Formative Age is about forming, after all. Baha'i's believe that this is a time of maturation for our species, a world-wide coming of age. But every news station testifies to the fact that we still have an awfully long way to go. In 8 centuries, when we're all grown up, I've no doubt that we'll be ready for the guidance of the next Messenger of God - in all Her spectacular Glory.

Maybe this guidance will include an all Female Government. Maybe it will consist of men and women. Maybe we'll have outgrown the need for Government. Maybe our physical bodies will have evolved to the point where our biology is simultaneously male and female - thereby reflecting the genderless Reality of Spirit. God only knows. What I know is that the best way I can contribute to the emancipation of women - and I mean sisters all over planet earth, not just my fellow middle-class college graduates - is to be a bright, beautiful, bold, active, investigating, obedient Baha'i woman.

"You will be servants of God, who are dwelling near to Him, His divine helpers in this service, ministering to all Humanity. All Humanity! Every human being! Never forget this!" - 'Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 38